DAY 22 – My Brother

My relationship with my older brother, Kap, wasn’t always a happy one.

Who knows what all the challenges were. Our parents didn’t get along well from the get go, and divorced when we were eight and nine. Our dad drank a lot. After we were grown our dad acknowledged his alcoholism. Regardless, my brother and I were not the best of friends during our first 50 years. At times, we didn’t talk. At times, it was probably better that we didn’t.I don’t really know how we got back together. Conventional wisdom would have us estranged to the end. But, some magical mix of what each of us offers, reconnected us. Surely, there was some luck.

Today Kap took me to lunch for my 59th birthday. Over the last few years we have developed a simple ritual for my birthday. We meet at Plaza Park at Chestnut and Santa Clara, and Kap performs a simple version of the Japanese tea ceremony for me out of the sliding door of his work van. After savoring the moment, the meditation and the tea, we walk a block to Sushi Marina. More tea, sushi, lots of talk and lots of listening. The ritual ends with a bow, an unhurried hug, and a return to our afternoon responsibilities.

I am grateful for moments when feelings and thoughts blend inside of me as they did on April 19, 2007 when I wrote this poem for my brother.

Blood Brother

raised together

our paths

and our pain

diverged

as years passed

our paths would cross

we often slammed into

one another

in distant universes

we shared a dream

“do no harm”

again our paths cross

this time our arms

and hearts embrace

so good

to be home

with you again

my loving brother, Kap