Tuesday, October 26, 2010

DAY 22 – My Brother

My relationship with my older brother, Kap, wasn’t always a happy one.

Who knows what all the challenges were. Our parents didn’t get along well from the get go, and divorced when we were eight and nine. Our dad drank a lot. After we were grown our dad acknowledged his alcoholism. Regardless, my brother and I were not the best of friends during our first 50 years. At times, we didn’t talk. At times, it was probably better that we didn’t.I don’t really know how we got back together. Conventional wisdom would have us estranged to the end. But, some magical mix of what each of us offers, reconnected us. Surely, there was some luck.
Today Kap took me to lunch for my 59th birthday. Over the last few years we have developed a simple ritual for my birthday. We meet at Plaza Park at Chestnut and Santa Clara, and Kap performs a simple version of the Japanese tea ceremony for me out of the sliding door of his work van. After savoring the moment, the meditation and the tea, we walk a block to Sushi Marina. More tea, sushi, lots of talk and lots of listening. The ritual ends with a bow, an unhurried hug, and a return to our afternoon responsibilities.

I am grateful for moments when feelings and thoughts blend inside of me as they did on April 19, 2007 when I wrote this poem for my brother.

Blood Brother

raised together
our paths
and our pain

as years passed
our paths would cross
we often slammed into
one another

in distant universes
we shared a dream
“do no harm”

again our paths cross
this time our arms
and hearts embrace

so good
to be home
with you again
my loving brother, Kap

1 comment:

  1. What a "fill one's heart up with love" post!
    How blessed Kap is to have a brother who expresses his love so clearly and openly.