DAY 214 - On the Brink of Behind

courtesy of emdot at flickr

my brother’s birthday tomorrow
haven’t gotten to arranging lunch

nephew’s bar results tomorrow
will I remember to call?

Mother’s Day on Sunday
finally asked this morning about what would feel like a gift

Jay’s 60th on Tuesday
not only no card yet,
but damn, have to be at a conference in Sacramento all day

Tom’s wife has cancer
how can I be of help, and when?

who else have I not checked on?
checked in with?
remembered?
are they feeling uncared for by me?

maybe I can let go of the fear of the brink
of falling behind
maybe let go of the worry that others may feel that I don't care
or don't care enough

is there any way we could agree for ever
that I love you
that I will try to respond to you in ways that comfort you
but that if I come up short
it is never that I love you less
rather, that I am over the edge
and beyond behind?

I could use your help
in getting over this fear of falling

DAY 121 - A Look in My Mirror and Out to the Horizon

Prior to turning 50, I cared about others, cared about the world, but had no plan, and felt little responsibility. I didn’t realize the harm and dangers that were, and are upon us. While considering myself part of the solution to man’s problems, I never really thought of myself as a co-creator of our salvation (not in a religious sense).

Since 50, things have changed; I now consider myself a co-creator of our future; not a hot shot, just a co-creator. Turns out, we are all co-creators; of some future; whether we act, or not.

In 2003, as a part of my efforts for our present and our future, I joined the executive board of Citizens for Peaceful Resolutions (CPR), of Ventura, California. CPR is an inclusive, diverse group of individuals, committed to non-violence, and recognizing the interconnectedness of all life on our planet. Our mission is to discover, live and communicate what is needed to build a just, sustainable and peaceful global society. Each month we hold public meetings dealing with the critical issues of our times: war, nuclear weapons, homelessness, poverty, global warming, campaign finance reform, and much more.

I don’t know what lies ahead on the horizon for humanity, or for our world, but I am comforted to have seen myself more clearly, and to have seen a reflection of myself, as a small and responsive part of our world.

DAY 103 - Beautiful People ... Obviously

 

Our world is filled with beautiful people.

I know it’s true,... but still, I do better with hints and reminders.

The printing on Jessie’s shirt gave me one of those clues, and a joyful lift.

Another person, caring about and responding to people in need, having heard 

a distant call for help from unknown people in an unknown land.

Beautiful people, ...

with a label,

for folks like me,

who need it obvious,

preferably in black and white.

Thank you Coleen.

DAY 38 – Show Obvious Care

Communication is the transmission and reception of signals. When sending and receiving are in sync, the harmonious dancing of all things is facilitated.

At times, if not often, transmissions can be too subtle to be received, too garbled to be understood, or in a language not translatable.

Reception has its own frailties; defective receiver components, data overload, and mixed or overriding messages.

When communication breaks down, the dancing doesn’t stop. At first dancers collide, without signal connection, the dancers may attack one another or damage the set.

When communication breaks down, I don’t feel safe. The fact is, it does break down…, and it breaks down a lot…, around the world, in my immediate world, and certainly in my interactions.

A small part of my trying to respond to the known dangers of dis-communication, and my trying to create safety for all, is a sticker that I print and wear which says “show obvious care”. It is a reminder for me, and for those who see and feel the message, to “show/communicate”, “obvious/clear”, “care/a desire not to collide, a commitment not to attack, and a joy in the comfort of others“.

I want to live in such a way that I clearly transmit, and that others completely feel, my care for them. The sticker is just a backup; an attempt to be obvious.