DAY 142 - My Mom

Me, sister Tori, brother Kap & Mom

She died today
She waited patiently through years of dementia
But today she was ready

She was more than a good woman
She was my Mom
She loved me
And I loved her

She trusted me
knew that I could live on my own at 16

She did not track every step of my life
She was living a full and interesting life of her own

At 48 I studied Functional Medicine
while staying at her home on Fox Island
each night, late, smiling faced,
she awaited my return
eager to hear what I had learned
hungry for my excitement
a mother still

there is more
so much more
but it is best expressed
by the fact that I am not filled with sorrow
I am filled with gratitude
both for knowing
and for being born to my Mom
               ~

Kay Caldwell Kelly
Born 9/28/30 - Died 2/23/11

DAY 109 – Trust: Such a Gift

Bobby

Trust feels good!

Ten years ago my mother-in-law, Bobby, asked if I would be comfortable, and willing to be the agent for her medical power of attorney. She was asking if I would take responsibility for making all medical decisions for her in the event that she would become unable to do so.

She was entrusting me with her life, and with the difficult decisions that often arise at the end of life.

I accepted.

I find it difficult to adequately express my gratitude at being trusted so deeply. But, Bobby, please know that I have been so touched by your trust. Please know, that should I be needed in this capacity, I will do my very best to do right by you. Your trust is such a gift to me!

Your son,
Kris

DAY 106 - Talking in a Way that Heals

We heard it from the top;

“... it's important for us to pause for a moment and make sure that we are talking with each other in a way that heals, not a way that wounds." 

President Barack Obama ~ January 12, 2011 ~ following killings and woundings in Tucson, Arizona

Talking ... communicating ..., in a way that heals, is not simple.

Whether or not a communication heals, is in the experience of the listener, the receiver. To truly know the effect of our communication, we must ask how it was received, and be prepared to listen.

Nonviolent Communication (NVC) is a process for optimizing our ability to talk in a way that heals. NVC requires study and practice. The rewards are enormous; more trusting and loving relationships at home, at work, and in our communities.

We heard it from the top, and now we can help to grow it from the bottom, by visiting The Center for Nonviolent Communication, learning about NVC, and by “talking with each other in a way that heals.”

DAY 32 – Bell’s Palsy Prompts Call from Alabama

I’ve been treating Lenny for about 20 years now. We’ve been through a lot together; pain, insurance companies, and a near-death experience. Through all of it, the mutual trust we started with has only grown stronger.

When I answered the office phone this morning, it was Lenny calling from Alabama. Being retired and free, he and his wife had packed up the trailer two weeks ago and set out to visit relatives in the South.

He was calling for my advice. His adult daughter had just been diagnosed with Bell’s Palsy (a usually temporary, one-sided paralysis of muscles of the face, caused by disturbance of the facial nerve). Her MD had given her a steroid injection and advised her that there was little that she could do but wait it out (usually 4-8 weeks).

Lenny and I have been through these before. When a question arises about health, any aspect of health, whether his, a family member’s, or a friend’s, he checks in with me for guidance. His question now was, was the MD correct, or was there anything else that could be done for his daughter, or that she could do for herself.

My answer included:
1)    Bell’s Palsy is hypothesized to be caused by inflammation or viral infection. While the MD reduces inflammation with steroids, it would be wise to lower inflammation oneself by temporarily removing animal products from the diet, by markedly decreasing sugars and refined starches, by removing common food allergens such as dairy products, and by taking beneficial bacteria (probiotics) orally,
2)    Alternating ice and heat (10 min each and 40 minutes off) applied to the back of the neck and base of the skull,
3)    Receive skilled chiropractic adjustment to restore mobility to the joints of the neck, if found to be stiff or restricted.

Not born yesterday, Lenny knows that it is not probable that there would be only one treatment for a condition. And he knows to ask questions. With questions answered, he felt relieved, and could now help his daughter. He thanked me and assured me that he would keep me informed of his daughter’s progress.

Trust and communication, a powerful duo.